Ladies the pickings are allegedly slim, and there are fewer truly available men, emphasis on black, to go around. Why is this? I mean we can pull out article after article on what’s wrong with the men and women of today, hold a 10 day conference and the rhetoric will remain the same: “These men need to step up their game,” “if he wants me he gotta have xyz,”..oh and my favorite, “I’m waiting on Jesus to show him to me” ..??!!
Well dammit; I hope that if you read my articles you not only read what’s on the lines, but between them. There is NO shortage of available men and women who are amicable partner-material; however there is a plethora of ignorance between the sexes.
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I personally know more women who gained their independence from their families at an earlier age than their male counterparts. Let’s face it, there is a stark difference in the way men and women are brought up. I did not have brothers but I grew up with male cousins who were allowed to get away with hell. Their only obligations were to be around for handyman needs and bill paying, for the most part. More importantly, I noticed and still do, more of pressure put on us females in terms of grooming and curfews. I know that I wanted out ASAP. I chuckle now as I recall fantasizing about my own apartment and this cool thing called rent…ugh why?
I managed to keep the independent living thing in tact up until now (really with no choice in the matter) and so have many other males and females I know, with the majority as stated earlier being female.
Initially I found it frustrating to date anyone who did not have their own place, and felt as though they were somehow delayed in your ‘development’. After all isn’t everyone supposed to be “Living Single” like Synclaire, Regina, Max, Khadija, Kyle, and Overton in their twenties?
Now that I have been out in the wild for nearly a decade, I envy those who stayed their butt put. Most of the men who still live at home aren’t wack, they are just comfortable and maybe even strategic. If you grew up with a hot plate of food on the table and were allowed to come and go as you so desired without many rules…why the hell would you leave until you found a suitable replacement (marriage?)?
Sure there are issues dating a man who is living at home in terms of privacy, I would be a fool to sugar coat that. There are also men who have become uber dependent of mom dukes practically hanging off her breast tryna get with us when they have no job, no ambition, and stay playing Madden (The movie Stepbrothers anyone?), but that’s not every apple in the barrel.
Ladies I think that a man living at home is one of the external factors we need to stop beating up our men about. Before we dismiss another quality brother, we need to look deeper into his circumstance. Is he saving for a down payment on a house? Is he helping out the family with bills? Is he motivated to one day move out? What are his goals and dreams?..Oh and wait, what are your circumstances?! Huh?!
Admittedly I will be the first to crack a , “you live in yo mama basement” joke but lord knows there are some fine looking men (true story), who have the potential to be future moguls, husbands, and leaders in those basements so ladies let’s put our compassion caps on please and thank you.
Do you still live at home? How do you feel about dating a man/woman who still lives at home?
How do you feel about folks in their late twenties early thirties who live at home?
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