Everyone should be mentally prepared for the challenge of getting through Thanksgiving Day dinner with their relatives. This is a test of strength and durability. The cost, if you lose, is your sanity. Here’s a rundown of which family members you’ll have to break bread with on Thanksgiving.
1. The Nagging In-laws
What would the holidays be without your in-laws nagging you to death. They constantly remind you of how you didn’t put the right spices in the dressing, it’s too cold in your house, the decorations don’t feel homey enough, the list goes on and on. But of course you keep quiet for the sake of your spouse.
2. The Thug Cousin
He just got out of prison, in time for the holidays. Since he’s on house arrest, however, the family was forced to go to his mother’s house to celebrate. His jailhouse dining etiquette has transferred over to the dinner table. He wears a Coogi sweater with matching jeans hanging below his ass and all white Air Force 1s. His style is stuck in the early-2000s. Not to mention he smells like he just came off of Snoog
Dogg’s Lion’s tour bus.
3. The Teenage Cousin & His Girlfriend
You notice that your cousin has grown into quite the handsome young man. You also notice that he brings a new girlfriend over each holiday. They hold hands under the table for the majority of the feast. You may say to her, “My cousin has told me all about you Kelly.” The only problem is her name is Tracy. Kelly is his ex. Oops.
4. The Drunken Uncle
He’s at every family function smelling like a brewery. He is the source of many family arguments. Your aunt tries to clean up his reputation in the family so often that she could be Chris Brown’s publicist. He’s also the jokester at the table. Sometime you laugh with him. Sometime you laugh at him.
5. Impatient Father
The fast family members arrive, the faster he can eat. The faster he can devour his two plates, the faster he can get to the TV and watch football. Sure he’s thankful for family, but he would be even more thankful for the Redskins to win.
6. The Antisocial Teenager
The dinner table is constantly vibrating. It’s your 14-year-old cousin. The majority of her time at the table is spent texting and tweeting how she would rather be with her best friend whose family went to Orlando for Thanksgiving. Despite her attitude, she posts a picture collage of her plate and family on Instagram with the caption “Family Time <3.”